During my 2012 summer I returned to my birth country, Portugal, as a Robert G. Wilmers Jr. fellow. The purpose of the trip was to study the Portuguese music genre called Fado and to "live" its melody, its poetry, and its themes on a daily basis. This experience led to some incredible personal discoveries that I had only begun to dream of as I prepared for the journey. Through Fado I delved deeply into understanding the portuguese soul. The music served as a guide that helped me make sense of all that I was experiencing.
One of Fado's biggest themes is "saudade", a portuguese word that roughly translates to "longing" and "nostalgia". Furthermore, its themes also speak of sorrow and fate; the portuguese people, as described by traditional Fado lyrics, believe that all that happens is directed by God.
On this journey of great personal growth I came face to face with Fado's deepest emotions and, under the grace of God, lived an unforgettable opportunity.
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During my 2012 summer, I met my father and his side of the family for the first time.
In Lisbon during the month of June, I visited my aunt and uncle Castilho. I also met their son João, and their daughter Ana. These were the first cousins I ever met since my mom's sister does not have children. Uncle Castilho has always been extremely supportive and has acted as a liaison between my father and my family through all of my 21 years of existence. When I visited they were all waiting in anticipation. We sat in their welcoming living room and began what could possibly have been the strangest conversation of our lives. After some time of exchanging basic "so what do you do?" kind of questions and answers we moved on to the house tour and I left extremely happy and reassured. This side of the family, even though they don't know me will certainly be excited to finally meet me, and here is the proof.
Since my uncle had always been on the front lines of all that had happened between my father and I, it was important for me to visit him first. I told him that if he were okay with the decision, that I would like to seek out my father without his help. He agreed. I sent my father two letters and an email that he did not respond to. It was a long summer of anticipation, but I had a lot going on to distract me.
Eventually, it was inevitable. There was a week left before I flew back to the States and after having come this far I was decided to meet my father for the first time. Thanks to the help of my childhood friend Pedro (yeah it is a common Portuguese name), we drove out to Cernache do Bonjardim where I knew that my father owned a car stand. That day was his day off. His secretaries were a bit shocked when I presented myself: "If I told you that I was here to buy a car I would be lying. My name is Pedro Roque and I am here to meet my father, João Maia."
After some coffee and a few truffles, they told me that my father wouldn't come in that day but that his brother, my uncle Zé, was with some customers and that he would be free in a few moments.
Uncle Zé is such a kindhearted man. He was so moved and excited when he met me that he couldn't stop moving for a second. He took Pedro and I to his apartment, showed me pictures of his wife, son, and daughter, memories, weddings, etc. Then we drove around town and while he was still clocked in we spent an afternoon together =P
I also met my aunt but I didn't get a picture. Here is my uncle and his kids. You know how people keep pictures of their kids in their wallet to show the entire world how amazing they are? Well, here they are. My uncle grabbed his wallet and told me to take them right there and then because he thought it was important for me to have them.
All of a sudden uncle Zé turns to me and asks: "So, have you met your grandmother yet?" No, as a matter of fact I hadn't.
She was shocked too of course. They both had known that one day I would have to show up and introduce myself. Well that day had come. To my grandmother it was especially important because she said she had always prayed that she would meet me before passing. Her prayers were answered and after some time of catching up on her porch, we moved inside and went through the infinite number of family pictures. I was even gifted some of them.
This is my grandfather who passed about 10 years ago.
In this one we see four generations. My dad in the middle with my grandmother holding his shoulders. On the left side of the picture is my great-grandmother, and on the left my great-great-grandmother. Pretty cool huh?
That Thursday was a very special day for me. I met my uncle, aunt, grandmother, and I got to know the place where they live. I was extremely disheartened when Nélia, my dad's secretary told me that he wasn't going to be in town until September. By then I would have been long gone. I decided that this was God's will and that the time wasn't right to meet my father. I had done all I could to reach my objective and I had already accomplished a lot.
As I was driving with my godmother, going back to Marinha Grande where she lived, I received a message from an unknown number. It said: "Hi. If you want we can meet in Lisbon at your uncle Castilho's office at 11am on Monday because I am going into the city. Let me know. João Maia."
And there I was monday morning at 10:30 thinking about all kinds of things. All I knew was that everything was going to be okay because God was definitely with me on this one.
And so it happened. We saw each other for the first time. We both showed surprised when we realized I was a bit taller than he was. We shook hands. We moved into a private room, and we talked about this and that. You know...the kinds of things that people say when they first meet each other for the first time ever...
It went really well. Surprisingly well. We got along very well and decided that moving on and looking forward was the best we could do together.
With three days left to go on my fellowship trip I finally got that picture I had so looked for in Portugal all that time.
The picture that would tell a story, and turn heads while doing it.
My father and I.
We then had lunch together.
And there it is. Proof that there is a first for everything. My dad was so moved, and even though he didn't want to show it, he gave me a hug goodbye. Now you tell me if that's not the best way to wrap up a good summer.
With love and thanks to God, family, and friends, I wish everyone the best of luck when pursuing dreams, because you never know when they can become real.
~ Horizon Traveler
